What's The Hold Up?

I have been working on my next post for a week now and have been experiencing distractions and interruptions that have been frustrating me and throwing my mind and energy elsewhere.

I had planned to have my list of 20 things I can't live without up by this past Wednesday which obviously didn't happen. I'm also preparing photos and graphics to make it more interesting (who doesn't like pictures?) so that's taking longer than I've planned also.

One other thing that's gotten me into a funk and given me a great deal of stress is that I'm having to try to iron out some problems the state of Virginia is having with my 2004 tax return. Who remembers that far back?? Plus I certainly don't have any old documents and paperwork here in Scotland! Then, on Friday I got a letter from the IRS with the same problem. So it's all a big mess I've been trying to sort out. It was also around that time in 2005 (which is when I would be filing the 2004 return) that I got so very sick and had to go into the hospital until July. If I made any mistakes then I can believe it, but now I have to pay (literally) the price for it.

My one big worry, apart from the financial aspect, is the effect it's having on Ben. I know this has really cut him adrift and I feel terrible for abandoning him in this way. I know he's a big boy now and I know there are people there with him who will take care of him and keep him going if he asks for help. Still, as a mother, no matter how old your children are, you want to do the best you can and give them the best life you can give them. I know my baby bird can fly now (after all, he's an Eagle!) but I still want to be that soft place he lands--as best I can from so far away.

So I wanted you to know why I haven't gotten my weekly post up yet and to let you all know it's still in the works. I'm discouraged with myself anyway so I'm having to fight the "who cares, no one wants to know what you think" syndrome. I'll just put it out there in the digital ether and whoever wants to read it can.

One further note: actually, as I've been getting going with my list I've found that 20 things might have been a bit ambitious so I'm going to break it down to 10 each for each post. Otherwise it's going to be much, much too long!