WHY AM I SO S.A.D.?
There are people who have adventures that are fun to write about and fun to read. They do exciting things like climb mountains and sail the seas and experience other cultures.
But I think there are other adventures that sometimes involve fighting off personal demons or conquering illnesses. There are some times in everyone’s life that it becomes a victory just to get out of bed, get dressed and get on with doing things that need to be done.
These last kind of adventures don't make the evening news or best selling books but they are adventures in dealing with life as it really is and sometimes it not only is a measure of character but can reveal the hero in all of us.
I'm saying all that to explain that, since my blog's title is "Janet's Adventures..." my latest encounter isn't what you'd call your garden variety "adventure" but it is a struggle that I have to conquer and for me it's as high and sometimes as difficult as climbing Everest--and that's a battle with depression.
Winston Churchill called it his "black dog" and many people--more than we realize probably struggle with the same thing. Rather than a "black dog" I call mine the black pit because sometimes you feel sucked down and mired in a deep despair. You don't really know how you got there and sometimes feel like you don't know how to get out. Through the years I've found a few strategies and things that help. It's really not like getting into a better "mood" or "cheering up" although that can be part of the steps.
|Not helpful & not always possible|
One thing I've noticed since I've lived here is that my moods and depression are very dependent on the weather which I've never experienced before. I really feel so much different on sunny days versus how I feel on the grey, dark days. I guess it just hit me recently when we had a few days of continual sunny weather. I was so much more energetic, happy and even felt less pain and could get around more easily when the sun was shining that it was remarkable.
Now we're in the winter season here and I've really noticed a difference. It gets dark--I mean proper, middle of the night dark--around 4:00 in the afternoon so the nights are very long and if the morning or afternoon is rainy or cloudy (which is a good majority of the time) you might not see the sun itself for days! By the time I'm supposed to be getting dinner, I'm ready to go to bed and after we finish eating it feels like the middle of the night, not just the start of the evening. Needless to say, I feel sluggish and exhausted. But you'd think I'd want to hibernate or sleep a lot--Au contraire! I have been having terrible insomnia and that doesn't help my moods or pain as you'd expect.
I never really thought that S.A.D. or Seasonal Affective Disorder was that serious a malady. I never noticed in the past that my moods changed according to the weather and I guess I always pooh-poohed the idea that you got especially depressed by winter. Well, I guess I'm a believer now. I've copied out some information from a medical online encyclopedia: